Dick & Fanny’s Missionary Statement

Prior to their visit to Birmingham during February (Fri 14-Sun 16 Feb 2014), The Nomadic Academy Of Fools’ Joanne and Christopher (aka Fanny and Dick of The Lig Leaf Wars) have issued the following statement:

The Fig Leaf Wars

The Fig Leaf Wars: Dick & Fanny

The Penis and The Vulva: Missionary Statement

We are here in Birmingham, again, just as we always are, but this time we want to talk with you.  Too much of the time we are kept in the dark, excommunicated from your bodies, we are coming back out of a long exile, will you accept us? Accept that we exist in you?  Publicly and without shame?

We are members of the upstanding human body.

Can you look at us without thinking of things unsavoury?

We can be the apparatus of love, union, creation.  Without us there would be none of you.  We may not be your vital organs, but we are vital to you, to your energy, your identity.

It is because of us you make an effort with your appearance, because of us you decide to act in certain ways.  Imagine us, the body’s own scapegoat, wielding so much power over you and your mind?  Yet, you are ashamed of us and we are ashamed of some of the hurtful things you have done with us.  You think we only wake up every now and then to shout demands at you?  From the moment you are born we are in conversation with you.  Some of your behaviours have gone too far: Please, not in our name.

“Yes, but,” you cry, “we don’t need to see you on the streets!  What about the children? They shouldn’t have to see you, it’s not right.  You’re not right.”

“Well haven’t they got one too?”  we reply.

“Yes but not like this, you are adult shaped, you are sexualized.”

Ah, so you’d rather keep me from them?  Like a part of their body put on ice until the perfect time for them to be introduced to me.  Unfortunately most of you miss the boat, the children’s innocence is long gone before you get a chance to tell them about us. Their bodies change in the blink of an eye – while you are stumbling with the wording and stuck in your own private reflection.  Boom – they are adults and that conversation never happened. It is hard to talk about us openly when we are so personal to you.  You keep us so sacred but we are personal to everyone.   We are here to begin to talk to you, face to face.  We need some understanding between us.  


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